Now That You’re Open To Dating…Where Do You Begin? - Part 3

This blog is part 3 of a 4-part series, so make sure to check in May 12th for part 4! 

Part 1 in this series helped you identify whether or not you actually had time in your schedule to date.

Part 2 shared with you the importance of taking care of your mental health for both your personal and your professional success.

In this blog post I will help you understand exactly how to begin to make space in your life to allow love to come in.

Now that you’re open to dating…where do you begin?

By now you realize that filling your time with “busy work” to avoid facing the fact that you might enjoy companionship on a regular basis, so what exactly does “making time” look like for a high-achieving woman? Don’t worry, I got you! If you did the work in Part 1, you’re almost there.

1. Take inventory of where you are currently spending your time. 

   1. Go back to Part 1 if you missed it or feel free to download your Relationship Energy Wheel worksheets

2. Give yourself permission to start saying "NO" to those things that you do not absolutely HAVE to be involved in. 

   1. It’s ok not to go to every birthday party, family gathering, book signing, charitable event, etc. Let them mis you for a change.

3. Determine what days you can set aside time to begin focusing on your love life. 

   1. Now that you have completed your Relationship Energy Wheel, you now know what you can stop doing all together, what you can do on occasion and what is actually necessary.

   2. If you did not break things down per day of the week, do so now before going to the next step

4. Set aside two 2-hour blocks of time; 1 evening night; 1 over the weekend as potential date times. Do NOT fill those times with anything else.

   1. You must get into the habit of setting aside personal time, even if you’re not currently in the market to date.

5. Use these time blocks, in the beginning, to spend time alone taking inventory of your past relationships and any unresolved feelings/issues/blocks that stand in your way. 

   1. Now that you know the success Blane had while working with me, feel free to book your time on my calendar as well.

6. Hire a baby/pet/house/parent sitter or schedule dating and relationship coaching sessions during these time blocks so that you can focus on you. 

   1. Your household, employees, business partners, etc. may object initially and may try to guilt you into filling this time with “busy work,” don’t fall for it. YOU come first, you now know this.

7. Begin to get clear on the spirit of the man that will be a compliment to your life.

   1. How will you know him when you see him if you’re not clear on what he looks, feels and sounds like audibly and energetically.

   2. Sign up for my free training Your 3-Lists which will walk you through the importance of creating your list and will provide you with a downloadable worksheet for you to use. Get it now!

8. Grab a journal and begin to write out (in present tense) a “Perfect Day in the Life of Your Future Relationship” scenario; create a workday scenario and a weekend (day) scenario as though you were already living it today. 

   1. Be very detailed and descriptive and be sure to put pen to paper and not your computer. Want to know why?

      1. By writing things down, it activates our brains hippocampus. So writing things down not only help you to truly get clear on the look, feel, sound and energetic type of relationship that you want, but it also improves the encoding process – a biological process by which the things we perceive travel to our brain’s hippocampus where they’re analyzed and then stores that data in your long term memory. 

9. Begin defining the terms you used to describe him, the way he made you feel, etc.

   1. I call this the Purrfectly Authentic Vocabulary exercise; define the term, define it again…and then one more time to make sure that you are so clear on what it looks, feels and sounds like, you will know it when you see it.

   2. This exercise is taken from the Internal Groundwork section in my book “The 5 Phases of Dating ~ The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide to Attracting and Maintaining Authentic Relationships.” 

      1. Autographed Copy

      2. Amazon – Paperback and Kindle

10. Activate your attraction power; behave as IF he is already in your life; talk to him during the day, spend time with him or preparing yourself for him during the times that you set aside. 

    1. Use visualization to see yourself in the relationship of your dreams, even if you are already in a relationship and it isn’t as “warm and fuzzy” as you would like it to be, you can still affect the change in the spiritual realm.

       1. Hear him speak to you the way you want him to

       2. Hear him apologize for anything that you’re still harboring ill feelings towards.

       3. Feel him holding your hand, rubbing the small of your back, kissing you on the neck…whatever you want, visualize it happening.

Want to learn about the 5 different phases to dating and how to maneuver them? Get your very own copy of The 5 Phases of Dating ~ The Grown-Ass Woman’s Guide to Attracting and Maintaining Authentic Relationships 

Simply visit here for an autographed copy or Amazon for Paperback and Kindle.

Looking forward to talking to you, book your time slot today!

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